You probably read this title and thought, "well yeah, duh!", but my intentions for the title, and for the story I am about to relay, is to reveal how God can really present Himself to us. There have been times in my life, I know, where I have questioned God's sovereignty and His presence. Those times when I feel so lost, so alone I just simple didn't believe fully. I'm not proud of those feelings, but they happened none the less. Back in May, when I had a time like this, God came through my walls and showed me He was there and always would be.
My family and I were on a weekend trip to Memphis for my brother's basketball tournament at the very end of May of this year. It had been a fun weekend so far, but deep within I had been struggling with something for some time.
I am beginning college this Fall and I chose a small private Christian college opposed to a large public school. With the more intimate and spiritual learning environment comes a heftier price tag. I have a decent scholarship with the school, but it was still not enough. My heart and head was on a roller coaster. I want to go to school so badly, but is it worth jeopardizing my family possibly because of the cost. My faith and trust was diminishing to almost nonexistent, but my Maker was not about to let that happen.
We were headed down the elevator at our hotel Saturday morning about to meet the team in the lobby to head to the first game when we encountered a wonderful stranger. An older lady was also on the trip to the first floor and she began speaking with us. She noticed my brother had a basketball uniform on so she mentioned her daughter who had just graduated and was going to school on a basketball scholarship. My mom told her that I too had just graduated and was going on an academic scholarship, but that there were many more funds that needed to be covered. The issue had been weighing heavy on all of us it seemed. She simply agreed as the elevator doors opened and we all parted ways with happy "good-byes".
As we were sitting in the lobby waiting on all of the team to arrive my mother was approached by our elevator friend. "I made it halfway across the street and God told me to come back and find you" she explained while inquiring after where I was. She took my mom and I to a secluded hallway and told us that the Lord had told her to come back and pray with us. She did just that! She prayed aloud as we all held hands that God would provide for our family and that we would not be in want or that we would not worry. She prayed for me...by name! After her "amen" she looked me in the eye and said "Hayley, God has told me that you have a heart for Him and if you only trust in Him then He will provide the way for your school." We gave her a hug and we parted ways yet again, never to see her again.
Two things we didn't tell this woman: that my name was Hayley and that we were Christians
I have never experienced God in a more real way. He spoke to this woman and was specific!! He knew that right then at that moment I needed to see Him. I did. I saw Him in the eyes of that woman who did what He called her to do.
I escaped the noise of the lobby and went into the bathroom and cried in lost agony. Why had I questioned God? How could I even think that I could take over? Why was I worrisome and lonely? He was with me. He was caring for me. He was providing for me. I would never doubt Him again.
That completely real experience with God, both with His messenger and in the bathroom with Him, changed my life. He was God and I know that now without a shadow of a doubt. No longer do I worry about what the future holds. I know that whatever it is God has it all under control.
If you feel lost and questionable like I did then He will seek you out in the most incredible way. Begin yourself by seeking Him. Dig into His word with a hunger and ask Him through fervent prayer to reveal Himself. You won't be lost for long, for He always finds a way back into your life.